Hitching a ride to work en masse is officially the New Hot Thing. It's got a taint of that smile-on-your-brother-everybody-get-together-try-to-love-one-another-right-now thing with a bit of the obscenely popular Tread Lightly On the Earth, Live Green thrown in.
We even have our own show: Carpoolers. Now, from what I overheard on my own vanpool about the show (Wait, 'poolers talking about other 'poolers: it's like looking in a mirror...with a mirror... Whoa.) Generic White Guy said the show was pretty awful and not at all representational of life in a real pool. All I know is that it's got that Jerry O'Connell fellow who to me will always be Vern the Fat Kid from that gem of a movie, Stand By Me.
Which got me thinking -
With thanks to my blog PR manager and fellow librarian, as well as the fine work over at byoolin's trebuchet, I have decided to cast The Vanpool Chronicles as a television program.
Vanpool Chronicles Cast
Van: 2005 Ford E Series 350 Passenger Van
Van Mother: Amy Sedaris
It: Gollum
Neo-Pompadour: Edward James Olmos
Generic White Guy: Gary Cole (Office Space's Lumbergh)
Hispanic Woman: The ever-intrepid Dora the Explorer
Gap Lady: Judi Dench
Tall: Dakota Fanning
Grande: Margaret Cho
Venti: Houston Rocket Yao Ming (in drag)
2 Wizend Crones: Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
Vacant Rider Slot: To Be Announced
vAnnie: Herself
I'm sure my show (like Carpoolers) would likely die a quick death and be cancelled because who really wants to know about vanpoolers anyway, right?
3 comments:
I feel compelled to comment on a number of elements of this post.
1: The "smile-on-your-brother-everybody-get-together-try-to-love-one-another-right-now thing" reference. I own the Youngbloods album with the live version of that song.
2: "Wait, 'poolers talking about other 'poolers: it's like looking in a mirror...with a mirror... Whoa." I believe the kids nowadays call that "meta." As in, "Wait, 'poolers talking about other 'poolers: it's like, so meta."
3: "All I know is that it's got that Jerry O'Connell fellow who to me will always be Vern the Fat Kid from that gem of a movie, Stand By Me." This frightened my wife, the Lovely Mrs. byoolin's trebuchet, because the first picture she ever saw of me is the one from Grade 1, in which I look very much like Jerry O'Connell. (Sadly, Mr. O'Connell was unable, unlike me, to keep his good looks as he aged.)
4: Thank you very much for "the fine work over at Byoolin's Journal" comment. Without wishing to appear ungrateful, I will only say that, for reasons I no longer remember, I never capitalize the 'b'. And I usually refer to the blog as "byoolin's trebuchet," which I've used since an early version of the thing, because I've always wanted a trebuchet of my own.
I look forward to catching up with the earlier posts here at the Vanpool Chronicles! (I read ahead - or behind, I guess - and saw that you used the word "motherfucker" to describe your Republican fellow riders. I think we'll get along just fine.)
To byoolin's trebuchet,
Heartily sorry for reckless capitalization, will remedy in all future correspondence.
Your Vanpool Chronicles commentary was most entertaining; I only hope I will continue to post items worthy of comment.
See you in the HOV lane,
vAnnie
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