If I Weren't a Vannie

Uughh.

It's Monday again.

The huddled vanpool masses slog themselves onto the van and head workward.

I don't dislike my job per se, it's just that going 5 days a week is a bit of a drag. I still clearly remember the lovely stretch of free time during the holidays and even the recent long MLK weekend. As my husband has told me, "You just don't like working." To which I responded, "Well, I still go don't I? I still bring home a paycheck."

As I sat bolt upright in the jumpseat this morning to keep from wrinkling the hell out of my shirt and thus looking as slovenly on the outside as I feel on the inside, I thought about other occupations I might like to take a crack at...

Dogwalker. Arborist. Bathroom attendant. Pastry chef. Senior fellow at the Brookings Institute. Docent. Henchman.

I actually know what my dream job would be: to write program descriptions.

I started subscribing to satellite television a few years ago and I discovered a summary for each program is featured at the top of the screen. It's usually a 2-3 sentence description of the show including the length and rating.

I think it would be the perfect job for me for a number of reasons: I could do this at home, finally get to use that English degree for something (if only to check my own grammar), and comment on a mix of pop culture mindlessness and highfalutin' films and documentaries.

I have no idea how you break into blurb writing, but it is surely a tough market filled with other loafers who would rather take a Cliffs Notes approach to their professional lives than rot behind a desk for 40 hours a week.

I'm only a scant 12 years into my working life and I'm already crossing out the days on my calendar until retirement.

And what about you gentle reader? Let us borrow from the Proust questionnaire (or, for the uninitiated, "Inside the Actor's Studio")

What occupation other than your own would you like to attempt?